i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
