You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
