I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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