DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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