I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
