Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
