....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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