don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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