Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
