I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
