i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
