I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
