I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
