So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
