Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We left the knife in your bed.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
