just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
