I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
