whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
