hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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