guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
