i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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