I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
