Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
