y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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