Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Buhtt sex?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
