so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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