In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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