My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
