guys are not supposed to queef...right?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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