your parents love me but you hate me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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