I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Green mimosas i think yes
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
