i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
