Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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