just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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