Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
