guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
