I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
