from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
