yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
