At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
