omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
