How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
