just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
