wake up i wanna do it froggy style
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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