We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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