dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
