Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize