How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He kissed a someone with a penis
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
