Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
