apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
