careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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