CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
