Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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