i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
