he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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