I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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