ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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