ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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