You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
