something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
